And I know I shouldn't hold grudges, or judge people, but instead love them.

And I HATE this feeling because I know i'm not supposed to go to bed with an angry heart, but its just so hard to forgive, especially after being treated like dirt.

I have issues man.
Just never thought they'd be in IJ.

- My results are, well, they dropped stupendously, but I'm not that trouble about it, though I'm sick of people who have way to high expectations for me, and have a super morphed expression when my grades don't come up to those expectations.

- Dance night got scrapped, there goes ALL of our quality time with our fantabulous seniors.

And well, lots of people have failed me today. So much for a pleasant last day of school. Founder's Day mass was brilliant though, quite happy with Ginie! (You don't know half the brilliance of it, sista!) Didn't really get to interact with other people during mass, because we were quite confined.

Yup, and I absolutely hate this feeling because it causes me to feel guilty at night, when I haven't resolved those issues, and i have to do devotion. And well, everything is affected la.

I don't know, maybe its PMS or something, but nobody just really cares to think of including me anymore, AT ALL. Thanks alot.

And how can anyone expect me to cheer up if the world just keeps beating me down?
How do I celebrate if I'm just not in the mood, today being my mum's birthday and all. I mean.

This screws.

Think about my mum. Hmm. Today, for her its like any other day. But instead of having her children and husband home, her son would rather go out to a concert with his friends.

She has to go to a meeting, she has to pick up her super moody long-faced daughter, and know nothing about what is wrong in her life, and all the restaurants are fully booked on her birthday. Her best friend is going to go out for a regular outing with her kids.

She deserves better, my mum. This person who my brother and I fought over when we were younger.

"She's my mummy! Not yours!"

Yup.

I honestly don't know who will be reading this, so i don't know who i'll offend or "leave out",
but I just want to thank Rachyee and Nat Seah for making me feel a teensy bit better today.

What happened, why am I here? How did it all come to this?
Games invented specially to exclude me, opportunities created to leave me out.

I'm that bad, huh.

I really feel like talking to someone who hasn't already... metaphorically punched my guts out today.

I wanna talk to minyee about everything, suddenly. She's neutral towards some stuff I guess, because she just knows me inside out, and well. I just can. I really need to talk to her. I haven't poured my heart out to someone for a real long time, because I can't just do that online, and mention names, because I don't flame people, because that's just mean and will further complicate things.

BUT I'M REALLY SICK OF TALKING IN ABSTRACT WHEN NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME.

Homily was cool today though.

There I go, human contradiction.
Congratulations, you're friends with the world's biggest oxymoron.

Bah.


Hmm, today's a little hard. But. I think I'll thank God for... the good homily and Fr Simon.